With life getting again to one thing that resembles normalcy, I made a decision to ask my cat, Stella, how the pandemic and the lockdown affected her.

Stella, are you unhappy I’ve gone again to the workplace? I labored from residence for thus lengthy.

Really? What residence?

This residence.

THIS residence?

I sat proper at our kitchen desk for a 12 months!

You positive you didn’t work subsequent door? Lots of bizarre issues taking place in that home.

Stella, your meals bowl is true beneath the desk. You actually handed straight beneath me numerous instances a day.

Well, I do like checking the bowl between naps. “You never know” is my motto. But I don’t recall seeing your legs. Were you sporting shorts?

What do shorts must do with it?

My psyche tends to dam out your uncovered legs. Something to do with spider veins.

I don’t have spider veins!

Tell that to my psyche.

Well, what about masks? Did it have an effect on you seeing me all of the sudden sporting a masks?

Of course! I bear in mind being so joyful you have been lastly getting work performed.

Work performed? What are you speaking —

Your nostril.

Hey, what’s fallacious with my —

But when your nostril hadn’t modified I figured you have been simply masking up your face. Like your hats to your hairline.


But then the fun-mask interval started, and I knew we have been coping with one thing larger than a ballooning brow.

We have been coping with a pandemic, Stella. But we don’t have to speak in regards to the fun-mask interval.

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Oh, however we should! First got here the leopard-print masks, if I bear in mind, then the one with cat whiskers and at last a masks that stated, in big bubble letters, “I Am a Cat Dude.”

Fine, I bought just a little carried away on Amazon one evening.

Did you actually must deliver me into it?

Be critical, Stella. Didn’t the lockdown have an effect on your life in any respect?

Well, I did just like the social-distancing coverage. Cats have had that one for years.

Cats have a social-distancing coverage?

But it’s not measured in toes. You don’t wish to know what it’s measured by, truly.

How about the truth that all of the sudden none of my mates came to visit and we spent all our nights alone?

Are you actually going guilty the lockdown to your lack of a social life?

Hey, I had mates over on a regular basis earlier than the lockdown. Like … Jim.

Jim? You’re going way back to Jim?

Whatever. You’ll be glad to know I’m vaccinated and in a position to exit, actually get again within the swing of issues, so issues ought to be getting again to regular right here.

How lengthy have you ever been within the swing of issues?

A handful of months no less than.

Huh. And but you managed to observe everything of Downton Abbey AND Grey’s Anatomy throughout that point.

That stuff actually sucks you in.

Hey, I’m proper there with you. Really liking The Crown, too.

Well, fortunately we bought by way of the worst of it OK, and no one we all know bought sick.

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What would you say if I informed you I’ve been in lockdown my total life?

I’d say go to mattress, Stella.

Not earlier than The Crown. That Princess Margaret simply kills me!


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